BDSM Acronyms

BDSM Acronyms

A
Abuse Treating another person with physical or mental cruelty, usually on a regular basis and against their will. A fundamental difference between BDSM and abuse is that the former is consensual but the latter isn't.

Aftershock After a long session or play, some submissives may experience effects from their body being used in shock from the pain. (trembling, feeling of cold)

Asphyxiation

Asphyxiation is the unconsciousness and ultimately death which happens when the supply of oxygen to your brain is cut off. This can happen in auto-erotic strangulation or other breath-control play.

B
Ball gag Toy used in BDSM play to prevent a sub from speaking. Mouth pieces are usually made from a rubber ball that is jammed between a submissive teeth and secure in place by a strap or a little string. Could be made of plastic or leather too.

BD Refer to Bondage and Discipline play (see Bondage)

BDSM

Name of a lifestyle shared by many people. The word BDSM is a combination of 3 acronyms, BD for Bondage Discipline, DS for Domination and Submission and SM for Sado Masochistic. Considered either like a grave deviance or a and healthy sexual game/orientation by the medical institutions, people who share this lifestyle believe in having a relationship where one of the people by mutually agreed upon consent is in a position of power/domination (DS) often by using means of bondage discipline (BD) and Sado masochistic (SM) over the other person in this relationship. This relationship could be for a brief moment (a play) or for a longer period of time (permanent relationship)

Blood Play

Type of play which involves blood. Considered a fetish.

Bondage Type of play which uses restraints which could include handcuffs, ropes, shackles etc. Considered a fetish.

Bottom In a BDSM relationship, the "Bottom" is the same as a the "submissive" In some more specialized relationships, the "bottom" is the one who gives up control (For instance, in a pure Sado Masochistic relationship without Domination Submission or Bondage Discipline, the one who receives the pain is the bottom)

Brown Play See Scat

C
Cane Type of toy used in S&M play. Usually made of flexible material like bamboo. Used for spanking play and designed to be used lightly for real life play.

Clamp
(Nipple) Toy used in S&M play. Kind of clamp like clothespin, to pinch areas of the body such as the breast.

Collar A toy made of material, leather or metal, which goes around the neck of the submissive to show his or her belonging to a Dominant.
OR..
Term used in the BDSM to say that someone is "collared" to a Dominant (means that the person wearing the collar belongs to a Dominant)

Contract Agreement usually on paper, between a Dominant and a submissive. Usually the terms of ownership of the submissive, by the Dominant, as well as major limits set by the submissive are outlined in the contract. The Dominant agrees to the terms on the contract and accept to respect them.

Crop Toy used in BDSM play and S&M play. Originally, crops were used to control horses. Now commonly used to inflict pain in S&M play and often used to control the submissive in BDSM play.

Cuffs Toys used in bondage play to restrains either arms, wrist, legs or ankle from moving. Could be made of leather or metal.

Cyber Refer to type of play or relationship which is "online" or only through the use of internet. (Some people refer to the usage of phone as "online" too).

D
Discipline Type of play which uses some form of control on a person by another person, through the use of reward and punishment.

Dom or Dominant Within a BDSM relationship, the person that by mutual consent is in control of the relationship. Could be a man or a woman

Domination Type of play use in BDSM play. Play based on controlling a submissive by a Dominant. Considered a fetish.

Ds or D/s Referring to a relationship between a Dominant and submissive

Dungeon Place where S&M play usually takes place. Cam also be referred to as the "Playroom".

E
Endorphin Hormone secreted by the body, when experiencing pain. The body's natural painkiller. Creates a euphoria effect on the person receiving the pain. It permits that person to receive more pain because endorphin has analgesic effect. When a person is under the influence of endorphins, usually it is said that he or she is in "subspace"

F
Feminisation Play in BDSM where a man is "changed" in a woman by his Dom. Considered a fetish. May or may not have humiliation as a motive.

Flogger A type of toy used by S & M people. A whip with many strands, specialized mostly for the buttock area or the breasts

G
Go Word Like a safe word, a "Go Word" is an OK from the Submissive to go ahead with the play, when there was a stop to a play (usually after a "Safeword" or a "Slow word"

Golden Shower Type of play which uses urine. Considered a fetish. Call "water play" by others

L
Lifestyle Set of values according to which, a person lives his or her life. Includes the beliefs that person could have.

M
Masochist A person who likes pain and gets sexual excitement/satisfaction from it. There are different kinds of masochists. Some will like any kind of pain and others will only like pain in a sexual context.

Master or Mistress In a BDSM relationship, the dominant person is often referred to as "Master" by His sub, if He is a man. Obviously in the case of a woman, She will be referred as "Mistress"

Munch A discreet social gathering of BDSM people, usually in a restaurant, with the people dressed in "regular clothing". People usually exchange tricks and beliefs about the BDSM lifestyle, in a non threatening situation. A great way to meet others in the BDSM lifestyle safely.

O
Online See under "Cyber"

P
Paddle Type of toy used by S&M people. It is a kind of board, made of different type of material, specially made for spanking.

Pain Slut Man or woman who really likes pain. This what we can call a "real" Masochist. Often referring to an unsafe player who will play indiscreetly. Usually but not always a derogative term.

Play Two definitions possible:

* Refers to a scene in BDSM.

* Could be a specialized fetish play (for instance, could be a rope play, or wax play)

Play Room Room where a BDSM scene, play or session take place. Known as dungeon too.

Scene:
Refers both to an individual kinky encounter and to the context in which it all happens

Top:
The sadist, dominant, master/mistress...ect. Generally the more active partner, though when the top is receiving service this may not be true

Bottom:
The masochist, submissive, slave...ect. May receive the top's actions in a passive way, or serve the top very actively.

Switch:
Anyone who enjoys both top and bottom roles in play. May switches lean more towards one or the other most of the time others are evenly balanced and can be both. Switch for a year, a weekend, a day, the change over may be anything from a major life decision to something decided in a moment during negotiation at a party.

Vanilla:
Sex without frills; Unexciting, normal, conventional, boring.

S/M:
Also known as "sensual magic", "sensation play", ect. This name comes originally from sadism/masochism, clinical terms which sometimes give the wrong impression when applied to consensual play. Many players prefer to use just the initials because of this. S/M in this sense is basically more physical than psychological, though psychological amd role-playing elements into their SM scenes.

Sadism:
Someone who gets psychological pleasure from inflicting pain on someone who enjoys it.

Masochism:
The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from being humiliated or mistreated, either by another or by oneself. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.

The bottom or masochist is there for the sake of something that they have learned to enjoy, just as they might have learned to enjoy sex or massage or the taste of chili peppers. SM bottoms experience altered states from endorphins and other bodily responses to intense stimulation.

The top or sadist in SM play derives subtler pleasures: there are, of course, the basic human pleasures of doing something well; of displaying skills, of pleasing your partner. If you please you partner, you partner may reciprocate with whatever you think is special. the bottoms altered state maybe contagious, offering the top a "contact high" (bottoms who can do this become very popular). the top may get a true "sadistic rush" from the play, but this can be surprisingly rare.

D/S:
Short for DOMINANT/submissive. Used mainly in personal ads. Basically the other end of the physical/psychological spectrum from SM. D/S is about power, "the consensual exchange of power for pleasure." It often involves role playing, scenarios and scripts--sometimes very elaborate. Where SM happens to your body, D/S happens to your head. Motives may be deeply psychological. Players may enjoy personas quite different then their mundane selves. Naturally, SM elements are often mixed in as well, but they don't have to be, just as you can have an SM scene without power elements. But most scenes involve a mix.

Dominant:
( also dom, domina, dominatrix, ect.) The top in a D/S or dominance/submission scene. The dominant is granted power by the submissive, and this is part or all of the point of the scene; the play may include dramatic and deliberate demonstrations of this power exchange. The dominant gives orders, demands, and receives services, and puts the submissive through various routines, rituals and ordeals to demonstrate, teach or test obedience and submission

Submissive:
The bottom in D/S scene. Grants or loans power to the dominant and the submissive surrender of power is one of the emotional points of the whole exercise. The submissive in general gives service, submits to the dominant's whims, and acts out appropriate roles and rituals.

Dominant and submissive, just like top and bottom, are often used generically. This can lead to confusion, and you'll sometimes need to sort out whether the "submissive" you heard about is really someone into power play or someone who simply likes being spanked (by an equal). in this article i use "top" and "bottom" for the generic terms, and confine "dominant" and "submissive" to people who actually use power dynamics as a substantial part of what they do.

Lifestyle D/S:
(also 24/7) "Lifestyle" implies a greater commitment of time and emotional energy then "play" does. Lifestyle players remain in role for long periods of time, and attempt to integrate dominant and submissive role playing into a least some of their mundane lives. Thousands fantasize about this and very few succeed; success requires a very acute understanding of the conflicts where fantasy meets reality, an unusual commitment to the sort of lifestyle planned, and usually a "safety line" of communications that take the players entirely out of control on a regular basis for staying in touch and dealing with all the powerful emotional changes that lifestyle relationships will bring about.

Master/Mistress:
A common title of respect for respect for a dominant in a role-playing scene. The usual title for the top when d/s is practiced as a lifestyle

Slave:
the bottom in d/s role-playing scenarios involving slavery. also used and misused widely for other sorts of bottoming. personally, i suggest "slave" be used only in historical role-play where the top is a roman soldier, ante-bellum planter's wife, ect. OR in a scene or relationship based on actual services and useful work. "Slave" wannabes often visualize scenes of fetishistic sexual servitude where they remain the center of attention; all too often they discover that the dom who wishes a "slave" wants someone who will do their housework, wash their car, feed their dog and stay out from underfoot. Different expectations around time can be a major stumbling block; clear communication must be achieved if there is to be any hope of success.

For the dominant here, there is a fine line between aloof domination and emotional abuse; the bottoms willingness to offer something real must be matched by an equally real sense of noblesse onlige on the part of the top, or the whole relationship breaks down, if this seems to be a digression from the subject of communications, it is because I have known too many "slaves", potentially good ones, who are ignored or taken for granted for weeks at a time. others are subjected to deliberate mind fucks or mixed signals as a form of hazing. One wonders if their so-called "master/mistress" ever kept a horse or a dog? Such treatment would absolutely ruin a good animal and humans have emotional needs that are far more complex than any horse or dog. "Rule" is not the same thing as "neglect" or "abuse".

SAM:
(adj. SAMMY): from "smart-ass masochist" not a compliment. often a physical masochist who has been miscast as a submissive. the masochist wants their ass beaten; the Dominant wants obedience. the masochist quickly develops the habit of screwing up as a way to win attention and a thrashing. the thrashing is unlikely to be a high-quality experience; the dominant's training efforts are doomed to failure; a match made in hell. SAMs often learn bratty habits that they apply even to a bona-fide SM tops who would prefer a simple request for a scene. this is a problem that begins with unclear desires and then takes on a life of its own.

B&D:
"Bondage & Discipline" roughly equivalent to SM, but sometimes different implications. Means "mild SM" to some, role-play to others; confusing because bondage may be used with any sort of play. Mostly used among relatively isolated players, and in the straight swinger scene where it is usually used in the negative: "No B&D, fatties, German shepherds.

BDSM:
B&D + D/S + S/M: A new term, meant to be inclusive, and in fact often seems to include fetishes and other kinks besides the three that make up the acronym. Began on the kinky branches of the internet, from which it is spreading widely.

Fetish:
Fetishes cut across all the other categories. For our purposes, a fetish is a turn-on to something other than your partner's sexual parts. It may be as exotic as a black latex tuxedo, or as common as long blonde hair. It may be a material such a as leather, rubber, chrome steel-- almost anything has been fetished by someone out there. Some of the commonest fetishes go unnoticed in the vanilla population -- if they are for high heels, lingerie, mustaches, motorcycles...

This sort of fetish is not just an attraction confined to one scenario. Anyone might have a fantasy about a hot top in a big black boots doing thus and such, but a true boot fetishist will probably get hot and bothered about all kinds of scenes involving those boots -- kissing them, wearing them, polishing, them or just seeing them in the store. Some fetishists are picky about details, but often any use of any use of the object or material in play will kick the whole scene into overdrive.